To love

I think I will stop "loving" anyone. I probably felt it all along, but refused to see it directly. The fact that "I love you" is such a heavy thing to say. So heavy, its weight is not something I dare to shoulder. It is pure cowardice. It is kind of stupid that I decided... Continue Reading →


Left foot forward

I wonder if yesterday counted as putting my left foot forward. For reasons I could not fully understand, I called my parents and a friend. I have never done this to my friends for very long, let alone my parents. The conversation with my parents was short, which is not that surprising really. The "stalemate"... Continue Reading →


Happy new year to me, I guess. And to everyone. This year had been difficult. I lost nearly all my "passion" in physics and mathematics - or rather, my reason of "living" near the end of my undergraduate education. It all comes down to how theoretical physics and pure mathematics were things I chose to... Continue Reading →

Two days

I stopped working on Wednesday, and I did finish my assignments early. I spent the entirety of Thursday and Friday just sleeping and gaming. It was both tiring and restful at the same time. For one, it has been a long while since I just did whatever I feel like, without much care about tomorrow... Continue Reading →

Last work week of the year

Took two days "break" - mostly gaming, reading manga, though did bits of work that hardly amounted to anything. Actually, it might have been a while that I took a proper break in the sense of just doing whatever I like (I played Zestiria which turned out better than I thought). The past four months... Continue Reading →


Saw a post on Facebook few minutes ago, about how a professor advises students on how to fail their PhD. One of which seems to be hinting at the fact that graduate students should not be working "9-to-5", like in office hours. It struck me very hard, though. While I know life is hard in... Continue Reading →


Before anything, I guess I ended up buying a laptop. It would definitely be a good investment on all counts, but definitely a bad choice in the sense of self-control. Must be partly my gamer-self pushing me to it. Hope it ends up in good use for work as well, since it is powerful enough... Continue Reading →

Next task (part II)

I have not been successful in shifting my clock, it is harder than I thought. Still it must be tried. Today might be a good time too, with the house-cleaning and a few chores done. Count it as a fresh restart. The quantum information homework took longer than I imagined but at least it is... Continue Reading →


It has been three weeks since I last wrote something. Several things (undesirable ones) about me have not changed, but small changes did occur. In some sense it is giving me some hope that things may become better. The main achievement I had the past three weeks was the restart of my Japanese studies. I... Continue Reading →

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