Gaming/Gravity duality

For those who know, this is a wordplay from gauge/gravity duality in high energy physics. I think it is apt for what I am going to write now. The past one week I have been indulging in my games again, in fact replaying one of my old games and bought three other games for future... Continue Reading →



So far I have been consistent with my blog updates. There are times when I think fortnightly update feels somewhat far, since I cannot remember everything in 14 days. At the same time, the fact that the last two weeks I hardly got any work done (damn it, it happened again) means that oftentimes I... Continue Reading →


This is the second entry since I set myself to write an entry every two-week timeframe. It may be a bit long if many things happen, but I could use bullet journal to track anything significant. One significant thing is definitely about PhD prospects. My current supervisors have made their willingness clear that they are... Continue Reading →


The past two weeks I guess I did make some progress, while in some other aspects I took few steps back. Guess better than nothing. Research wise, I think I am at a good point to wrap something up. After all, the committee meeting is also up so I need to be prepared. I still... Continue Reading →

Connection trial

Work life still isn't good, but I guess it is improving ever since my supervisors decided that I should get the stuff I did going despite being somewhat a repeat of what others did and make my case of why my work was worth doing. And also, I think as a Master's student, I should... Continue Reading →

The original wish

The memory that refused to vaporize. The memory of the first aspiration I wished for myself - that of being a theoretical physicist, a mathematician, a professor - which was born out of hatred. Hatred for the two who sacrificed most of their lives, hatred for myself who made someone cry when I was the... Continue Reading →

A slap that hurt so much

It was my fault, to be sure, that I did not notice it. I did not know it hurt so much to have your work negated, however little the work was, by another person's work simply because you overlooked them during your early literature review. The past seven months I lamented and cursed myself for... Continue Reading →

To love

I think I will stop "loving" anyone. I probably felt it all along, but refused to see it directly. The fact that "I love you" is such a heavy thing to say. So heavy, its weight is not something I dare to shoulder. It is pure cowardice. It is kind of stupid that I decided... Continue Reading →


Still failing to do what I must, but will have to continue trying anyway. Also, I noticed one thing. Many of us live by following groups --- we follow what majority does. We like what others like, which in turn puts us in good position to maintain conversation and sustain interaction. When you are not... Continue Reading →

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